A Car Called What?

My passion for automobiles came from Nelly’s “Country Grammar” music video. Haha. No, I’m joking. That song actually got me in big trouble once, although that’s a campfire story for another day, kiddies.

My affinity for cars manifested during a trip my dad and I took to Munich. One day we rented a Mercedes CLK 230 Kompressor with a hair-trigger clutch and ripped it through the Bavarian countryside. I enjoy everything automotive, including NASCAR (yea I know, I know). Once I had a dream with Tony Stewart in it. We went bowling (not driving) with my 7th grade gym teacher but it was still unbelievable.

However, there seems to be a disconnect between auto manufacturers and the English language. Foreign (and sometimes domestic) car companies think they can throw a few consonants and vowels together and the American public will just acknowledge and break out the checkbook. Well, they are right but this author is calling shenanigans.

Sorrento, Sentra, Rondo, Altima, Murano. What the f*%k do any of these names mean? I recognize them all to be Asian but still, this multi-billion dollar industry should have the intelligence and financial swagger to consult outside firms before picking letters out of a hat and playing jumble. In my profession, I name things all the time and we always have rationales and reasons for our rhymes. I wish I could see the copy decks from these “brainstorms”. Yes, the quotes are intended.

Either stick to practical names like: “Always Starts” or “Turns R/L” or go with baddass names: “Lone Wolf” or “Danny LaRusso”. Sadly, Lee Iacocca who was once a legend will soon only be a weird name.

– J Wargo, Senior Copywriter at AgileCat